So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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