i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
