My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
