South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
