i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
