pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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