I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
