its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
