i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i believe in u and ur pee
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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