She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
