he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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