He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
