roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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