i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude i'm inner monologue high
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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