thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
home. puking in laundry basket.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
