what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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