That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
