Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
