I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
