Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize