did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
