Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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