At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
