you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
