fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
