There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
