How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
