And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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