dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You just made me feel so damn special
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
