somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
