At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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