She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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