She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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