i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
