Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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