I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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