I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
