Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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