Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
