At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
