she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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