i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
