is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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