Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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