they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
