Whatcha textin bout Willis?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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