I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Randomize
