are you still at the devil's house?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
