Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
