I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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