Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
