Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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