Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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