Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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