Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
