she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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