and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
